Did you think that there wouldn't be any pain if you're the one who dumped him?

Think again! Do you honestly believe that those who end the relationship do not suffer? I disagree! Before you read on, I just want you to know that I am talking about real, honest, genuine, deep, relationships. I am not talking about a fling or a "snack" or a rebound.

I am not talking about a relationship with Mr. Wrong until Mr. Right comes along.

Whether ending the relationship was your choice or his, it hurts. I am talking about a man who you grew to know and love over a period of time. You dedicated time, effort, and emotions to this relationship. You shared plenty of present moments, with someone who now belongs in the past instead of the future. You shared a part of yourself and allowed yourself to be weak and vulnerable. You had dreams and they were crushed.

The fact that you chose to draw a line and move on does not mean that you have actually moved on - unless you have contemplated this breakup for a long time before you actually did it. Like a person who was dumped, you will be haunted by memories, loneliness, regrets, anger, and uncertainty. Here are a few tips to help you deal with this period.

Here's my advice...

WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T DO:

1.  Do not deny yourself the right to grieve; it's ok to be sad and it's only natural to feel angry - angry at him, at yourself, and at people who played a role in bringing the relationship to an end.  If you have an urge to cry or scream, do not hold back.

2.  Do not play tough; a lot of people think that since they ended it, and it was their decision, then there is nothing to be sad about... Wrong! You simply had to choose the best of two bad options: continuing in the wrong relationship or dealing with the unknown.

3.  Do not jump into another relationship - PLEASE! This is a rebound and you will end up hurting someone else. Take a break.

4.  Do not give into depression and regret;  yes, the signs were all there but for some reason you did not see them early enough. The good news is that you have learnt and that you will not make the same mistakes again.

5.  Do not brag! Yes, a lot of people brag about the fact that it was them who ended the relationship. This is just bad manners and immature.

Here's WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:

1.  Go to the gym, dance, walk, exercise, or engage in any other physical activity - this will release endorphins into your system to balance the doom and gloom mood.

2.  Travel. If you enjoy the outdoors and nature, shopping and busy cities, the beach, or historical sites, then traveling for a week or two is an option.

3.  Find a new addiction - yes, that's right, a new addiction! Some people have addictive personalities and the worst thing about a break-up is giving up habits. What are you supposed to do with the time you used to spend with your ex? I personally tried candle-making classes - exotic, fun, and interesting. You can try anything new even if it is playing cards or chess.

4.  Start having new dreams to replace the ones that went down the drain. Happy thoughts, please! I do not want you to fill your head with stuff like: "I will never be happy", "I will never meet a good guy", "I am destined to be single", and "what is wrong with me?" .... Your thoughts become your reality!

Finally learn to forgive yourself and to forgive your ex. You do not need to clutter your mind and heart with negative thoughts that will just make you miserable, bitter, and inaccessible.